In the last year, I have learned a lot about friendship. Prior to this, it wasn’t really on my radar because I was so focused on medical stuff. I always wondered how people chose their friends, maintained friendships, and knew how to spend their time together. I am seeing that in the non-speaking community, many friendships are dictated by parent friendships. While this is okay sometimes, it is also important that non-speakers are being asked who they want to spend time with, and how they want to spend their time.
To presume competence is to assume we prefer spending time with some people more than others, just like anyone else. While autistic people do have social differences, we still have social preferences, which differ from person to person. I have a very different perspective than most of my friends and that’s what makes us human. I truly believe in the power of choice for autistic people, and in that, means honoring social preferences too.
Mitchell's Life with Autism 
Mitchell, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and for including a picture of you and my handsome grandson, Owen.
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Thanks for sharing this. My son just turned 13 and he is exploring the topic of friends as well. I love hearing different perspectives as it helps me understand others a lot more.
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It always makes me happy when I see a new post from you Mitchell, so yesterday was a good day in that way. 🙂. I agree with you about autistic socializing. In fact, due to the nature of autism, we are usually a lot more particular about who we want to socialize with, and form relationships with, than NTs are. I really like Jim Sinclair’s description of it all in xyr 1992 article Bridging the Gaps: An Inside-Out View of Autism (Or Do You Know What I Don’t Know). It never ceases to impress me how relevant and accurate Jim’s writing still is all these years later.
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