As I get older, I am learning about myself and what is important. I am gaining a more realistic view of my disability and am embracing myself as a disabled adult. For most of my life I wanted to be like everyone else. I had no community of spellers like me, which furthered that probably. Now that I do, I realize my goal should not be full independence, but to be the best version of myself.
I care a lot more now about enjoying my life than trying to fit into what society expects. Many programs and parents push unrealistic expectations of independence and that can further stress and make us feel like we are not meeting society’s expectations. I think if people gave the disabled population proper education from a young age on their disabilities, they may feel more comfortable in their own skin.
Mitchell's Life with Autism 
You are young and already learned so many things about yourself. That is a better starting position for a healthier and more successful life than finding out much later why you keep hitting walls, like me at age 54.
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So many of us in the disabled community have discovered that independence looks a lot different for us than it does for nondisabled people. One of the things I’ve been thinking a lot about in recent years is the difference between independence and empowerment. I think you’re right, if society got over it’s ableist notions about what a good life should look like, and focused more on empowerment, and less on the kind of hyperindependence that is considered “normal” for Western culture, everybody would be a lot better off (disabled and nondisabled)!
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