I used to think I didn’t like the holidays. I now find them very enjoyable and look forward to them. I realize now that the holidays were never a problem, it was always that my system couldn’t handle them. The people were louder and more unpredictable, the lights were distracting, the food was different, and it was overwhelming.

It was difficult to accept that the holiday activities were never the problem. It was easier to place blame on situations than on my disability and regulation. Realizing that I played a role in these situations was very empowering. Because I could see my part, it allowed me to make changes and work on myself. I am proud of my maturity and accountability these last few years. This makes me excited for the holidays rather than dreading them.